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By Iain Hollingshead

Are your carefree twenties a chickening out reminiscence? Are your profession clients lamentable? Are your mates discussing confetti and fixed-rate mortgages when you hang in your X-Box, sobbing? you're not on my own. Sam Hunt faces as much as the massive three-o, and starts to believe that it could actually simply be the start of the top.

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Surely a man of his age and political conviction would have volunteered for duty in Vietnam. After all, he supported the war. So you might wonder where exactly in ‘Nam Limbaugh served. The steaming rice paddies of the Delta? Or was he a Marine, dug in at Khe Sanh? Special Forces, perhaps, crossing the DMZ on a Search and Destroy with “Born to Kill” tattooed on his biceps? Or maybe he stayed in Saigon and used that talent on loan from God to entertain the boys in the field. That’s it! Of course!

Shouted Buchanan. ” huffed Limbaugh as he struggled to keep up. “Fuck your pilonidal cyst! ” came the thick southern drawl. “Fuck you, Gramm,” the corpulent radio operator shot back. ” Now they were all yelling at Limbaugh. Gingrich, Gramm, Thomas, Buchanan. All but Quayle, who was too new and too scared to take sides, and Will, who was too high on acid. ” Lieutenant North was pissed. ” North couldn’t believe he was out with this bunch of sorry-ass losers. He was platoon leader, and normally a buck sergeant would be taking a squad out on ambush.

He had led a lot of men into battle. He had seen fear before. But not like this. And North knew one thing. Fear at night is a killer. The trail led to a steep embankment. North clutched the M16 close to his chest and slid down feet first on his butt. It was a bumpy ride, but North didn’t mind. In fact, he kind of liked it. He just wondered if his men could navigate it. Especially Limbaugh. He’s so fat and smelly, thought North. He turned and waited. And waited. Where are they? By the time North caught up with the squad, they were just fifty meters from the base camp perimeter.

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